God is Perfect~All the Time! (warning...VERY long!)
His timing is perfect, everything about Him is perfect! He doesn't make mistakes. I have always believed through this 2 year adoption ordeal that God would lead us to a child that we could love forever! I never once thought it would be just some random coincidental occurance. "T" found our family not by just some random stroke of luck. If you know me or Danny very well, then you know we are not known for our good luck! Danny jokes about his bad luck by saying he was cursed due to his b-day being on Halloween and his name being Jack Daniel! He's crazy! LOL Anyway, he says I am cursed due to my association with him! Ha Ha! Back to "T"...She originally wanted to work with an agency in her own town. There is lots of paperwork involved and she doesn't have internet, fax, ect... She contacted an agency and tried to get them to help her with an adoption plan. They gave her the run around for a month or longer. They didn't return her e-mails (which she sent from her apartment office), or her phone calls. They never would send her the paperwork she needed to fill out. They also never sent her the parent profiles to view so she could choose a couple to adopt her baby. About 2 weeks ago, "T" began to panic b/c they weren't helping her. She went to use someone's computer to gain internet access to locate another agency. She ended up picking our agency in Ca. b/c she called and was treated wonderfully from the very 1st moment she made contact. I am sooo happy the 1st agency didn't work out for her. It is b/c we were not with them! When doing my research, I went with this agency b/c I also got the same warm "fuzzy" feeling from them. I later regreted my choice of agencies, after I had spent thousands of non-refundable money with them. It was nothing they did. It was just the simple fact that I found out majority of their bmoms live in Ca. and so do most of their adoptive couples! People want open adoption these days, so why would a bmom in Cali choose a family in the deep South?! I thought I made a terrible mistake! I even told some of you my concerns over this. Maybe "T" had to be treated badly by the agency in Ga. so that she would end up being led to the agency that we were with. I believe that during "T's" pregnancy, as she was making a plan of adoption for her baby, that God was working to bring us all together.
"T" became pregnant around the same time Danny and I were discussing giving up on International Adoption and starting a domestic adoption. "T" went down the wrong path at first when looking for an agency to help her, but God put up road blocks to lead her to us. God also set up road blocks for our IA (Int. Adoption), in order to lead us to our baby. During this process, I have asked God so many times: "Why did You 1st lead us to Taiwan and China and make us waste all that time and money? Why did You call us to adopt and then put up road blocks?" I believe it was to stall us. By stalling us, we learned soooo much more! During our long wait our hearts continued to open up more and more so that we were open to any baby God would lead us to. We started trying not to control the process so much, and were placing more trust in God. I just wish he would have set up less expensive road blocks!!
Why do I say God called us to adopt? If you know me well, then you know I have been obsessed with children my whole life! My mom always thought I'd open a daycare someday! God gave us fertility obstacles, knowing I would NEVER be satisfied with just 1 child. If God would have allowed me to birth as many as my heart desired, then we would have never taken out loans for insane amounts of money in order to adopt. It was His plan for our family. By allowing us to go through those very dark days of infertility, He was preparing our hearts to adopt. God knew I would not rest until I had several children to care for. I questioned God constantly: "Why are you doing this to us? Why can't we just have the children we so desperately desire? What have I ever done to deserve this? You know how much I have always wanted children, why are you hurting me like this?!" Finally, I realized He was not punishing me, but simply preparing me for His perfect plan! Ivey was a fertility baby of 2 years in the making! Why was she "allowed" to get through? If you have ever met Ivey, then you are aware of how stubborn and strong-willed she is. She doesn't take NO for an answer! LOL We attempted to become pregnant again, without treatments after Ivey was born. We never succeeded. God had other perfect plans for our family! One more thing! During this process, I prayed everyday for God to let us find a birthmom in the South so we could have occassional visits with the birthfamily. I also begged and begged him to allow our baby to come home before Ivey starts K-5. I pleaded with Him each day to bring our baby home before or during summer so that the girls could bond with the baby before having to go to school in the Fall. I knew it would kill them to have a new baby and not be able to spend much time with her. Mylah is due right about the time school gets out for summer. God answers prayer in His own perfect time!
Peace and Blessings~Amber

Nesting~Well, sort of!
Danny just put our crib back together! He woke up full of energy and seems to be nesting this morning! He cooked us an awesome breakfast and then got right to work. I on the other hand am drained! I have had adoption insomnia every since we were matched! I have only slept 3-4 hours each night! Not to mention that I have a terrible cough also keeping me up. I have even taken night time cold meds and still do not sleep...Uggg! I laid in bed from 2a-3:30a tossing and turning and coughing. I finally left at 4am to go to Walmart. The ONLY place open at that time (well, other than clubs/bars)! LOL I even passed a few drunks on the way. I was about the only soul in the store shopping. The atmosphere is crazy there at that time in the morning. Who knew? They were jamming out to really loud music, and yelling at one another across the store! The employees were really entertaining to say the least. There were tons of people working too. Stocking left and right. I couldn't get down most isle's b/c there was stuff EVERYWHERE!! I had to leave my buggy at the end of each isle in order to navigate through all the mess to get what I needed! It was an odd experience...especially being the only shopper in the store! Okay, enough about Walmart. One more thing, I did finally purchase some bottles for Mylah. If nothing else, I must have bottles and diapers! LOL I guess I will be reading the instructions to figure out how to sterilize them. Neither Danny nor I can remember that! He was like, "It's really been a long time since we had a baby in the house." We rarely used bottles anyway with Brennan and Ivey b/c I nursed them both a long time. I must admit that I will enjoy sharing the night-time feedings with Danny! When you nurse, you have to do all the night feedings alone. It is wierd though, the guilt I am already feeling about Mylah being my first child I won't nurse. Even though I know there is nothing I can do about it. Us moms always find something to feel guilty about! LOL We are too hard on ourselves. Guess I should get off my behind and help Danny nest a little. He is telling me to take and nap, rest, and get well from this cold. I will be taking his advice in a few hours! By the way, I spoke with "T" for a while again last night. She is doing well and we had another great conversation. We learn a little more about one another each time we talk. We are becoming really comfortable with each other. I can't wait to learn more about her life. I am writing things down to share with Mylah someday.
~Amber

The Sweetest Thing!

Our bmom is an awesome lady! She has sent me more pics of her children and also one of herself. She has a camera phone and sends them to my phone. Unfortunately she doesn't have a computer, so we can't e-mail. She has sent me a few texts though. I never text and have been doing my best to text her back. It takes me forever just to type 2 sentences in a text! LOL She sent me a text tonight telling me to have a good night! How did we get so lucky to have such a wonderful woman to share this experience with? We are so blessed! ~Amber

Doctor Visit

I spoke with "T" about two hours ago. She saw the doctor this morning and he checked her. She has not dilated any...thank goodness!! The doctor told her to take it easy and drink lots of water. He thinks her contractions yesterday were brought on by dehydration. We are all so glad that the baby is not coming right now! Hopefully she can carry her for at least 2 more weeks.
"T" sent me a photo of her youngest daughter. She is sooo cute! She took the photo with her camera phone and sent it to my phone because she does not own a computer. The other 2 children were sleeping at the time so she did not send me one of them. She is supposed to try to send me one of the other children soon! I will update when I have any new info. Her next Doctors appt. will be on the 14th. ~Amber

Labor Pains?!
Today was a very busy day. "T" began having terrible back pains and I started freaking out! Not while I was talking to her...I did at least wait until after I got off the phone! LOL I talked to her twice today. Her back pain has eased up. The doctor told her to lay on her side and drink lots of water. He thinks she overdid it taking her kids out and about yesterday. They were outdoors for about 4 or 5 hours. She has to go to the doctor in the morning. He will check her to see if she has begun to dilate any. I hope she has NOT!!! My attorney and I were scrambling today trying to get all our ducks in a row. I really think she will have this baby in the next 2 weeks. I need to do some shopping, packing, and freaking out! ~Amber

LAST MILE OF THE MILLION~
Today was an awesome day! We recieved THE CALL that we have looked forward too for sooo long! Our agency called to tell me we have been selected by a bmom. The bmom, who I will call "T" wanted to talk to me immediately! I was so nervous and shaking violently! LOL I told Deb at my agency to please give me 30 minutes b/c I thought I might vomit! She of course laughed at me and called the bmom back to tell her I needed a little time. I finally got myself together enough to call "T" and our conversation went great! It has been about 7 hours since the call though, and I still feel like I may puke! I think I have morning sickness now! I have been drinking pepto like crazy! Our baby is due the first week of June. We are expecting a baby GIRL who is AA! I didn't plan on telling Brennan and Ivey right away, but I couldn't help it! They are thrilled and were way too hyper today! They have really wanted a little sister. I am so glad they will have the whole summer to bond with her. "T" is parenting 3 young children and is the sweetest lady ever. She said that her babies usually come a week or two early. She wants me at the delivery and is very nervous that I will not make it there in time. I assured her I will be ready to leave at a moments notice and I will do my very best to be there for her. "T" has lived a very difficult life and is making an adoption plan out of her unselfish love for this baby. All of her children have the same birthfather and we look forward to keeping in touch with "T" and our daughters siblings in the future. "T" was raised in foster care and was finally adopted as a teen. Her adoptive parents are white, and she has no problem with us being a transracial family. She lives in Georgia, so we will be able to visit every so often. Please pray for her. She seems to have a huge heart and I really hope she and her other children have a great life. The father of the children is no longer in the picture. She seems to be a strong woman with lots of hopes and dreams. "T" can change her mind and decide to parent the baby herself. Sometimes that happens. She does seem very at peace with her adoption plan at this time. We will forever be grateful for this wonderful life she is entrusting to us. She is a very special person, and we will always have a place in our hearts for her.

LEGACY OF AN ADOPTED CHILD

Once there were two women,
who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,
the other you call mother.
Two different lives shaped to make yours one.
One became your guiding star,
the other became your sun.
The first gave you life,
the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you the need for love,
the second was there to give it.
One gave you nationality,
the other gave you name.
One gave you the seed of talent,
the other gave you aim.
One gave you emotions,
the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
the other dried your tears.
One gave you up.
It was all she could do.
The other prayed for a child,
and God led her straight to you.
Now you ask me through your tears,
the age old question through the years;
Heredity or Environment--
Which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling, neither,
just two kinds of love.
~Author Unknown