HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

GO-GO GADGET STROLLER!!!!

I wanted to do a quick post to wish my wonderful hubby and all the other fathers out there a Happy Fathers Day!! This is Danny's first father's day with 3 children! He loves all his girls so much! :) We had a relaxing day at home. He entertained and took care of the girls while I did some cleaning! We have our 1st post placement visit tomorrow with our Social Worker. I am also taking classes at work this coming week. I usually work 2 nights/week...but this week I will be there M-F 8a-4p. Ugggggggggggg!!!! I am going to miss the girls! Danny is taking the week off to stay with them b/c I really need to get these classes out of the way.

We have been staying busy with the kids. I have been trying to keep Brennan and Ivey's summer full of fun and sun! We have been going to the swim club a good bit. It is too hot to do anything else, and the girls love being outdoors. I can't let them play out right now unless they are in the water! Mylah does really well at the pool. She actually seems to really like being outside. She loves noisy places and sleeps best with chaos around her! She loves to sleep at the girls cheer practice and the swim club. I keep her cool at the pool! I have come up with a Go-Go Gadget Stroller which is awesome! She has a clip on umbrella for constant shade. She also has her very own battery operated clip on fan. And I spray her with a water bottle about every 20-30 minutes! At first she hated being sprayed, but now she sleeps right through it! She will squirm a little...then I guess she's just like "Oh..it's that water stuff again!" I spray her head, arms, legs, and the chest and back section of her onsie. I soak her onsie pretty good and just keep her diaper area dry. With her being wet and a fan blowing on her constantly, she stays nice and cool! Everyone is always stopping to admire her go-go gadgets!!! I have included a pic of her funny looking stroller for your amusement!

PEACE~Amber

TRIPLE BLESSINGS!!!

Sorry don't know why this pic is upside down! We barely made it out of the car before they swarmed!

Brennan's 1st time feeding her!

Love at first sight!

In a few short hours it will be mine and Danny's 12 year anniversary! I can't believe how many wonderful things these 12 years have given us. We have an awesome marriage and 3 wonderful little girls! I can't wait to see what 12 more years will have in store for us.

Mylah and I got home on June 11th which was Thursday. It only took our attorneys, social workers, ect...10 days to get us home from Ga. Not too bad! I have of course been very busy since we came home. I will be going back to work in another week, I decided I need next week off b/c Mylah and Brennan both have doctors appointments. Also, Brennan has VBS. And I don't think I will ever catch up with bills, laundry, housework and grocery shopping! There are just not enough hours in each day! LOL My mom stayed with Mylah on Friday while I took Brennan and Ivey swimming. It was nice to spend time with them after being gone so long. Me and Bren went shopping today and left Danny home with the 2 little ones. Brennan and I had a good time, but I think Danny was relieved when we returned! LOL Mylah likes to give him a hard time occasionally! And Ivey, well... she's just hyper and loud all the time! :) I read 3 stories to Ivey at bedtime tonight, and I am just trying to give each of them some time with me right now. Which by the way is not easy! Babies take up alot of time though, and the summer will fly by. Brennan and Ivey will soon be gone everyday to school, so I really want to do the best I can to spend time with them and make their summer fun!

I have still talked to "T" each day so far. She is still doing well, but was under the weather for a few days. Her and 2 of the kids had a virus and she also ended up with a UTI! She just can't get a break lately! They are all feeling better now thought. She is still looking into Jr. College. She is now considering Nursing or Surgical Tech school. I'm sure our contact will decrease once she gets busy with school and working. I am just thankful that she plans on remaining in our lives and Mylah's.

I hope you all like the pics of all the girls together. Brennan and Ivey just can't get enough of their little sister! Mylah has also had the pleasure of meeting her "NaNa" (Danny's mom) and "BeBe" (my mom) and her Aunt Donna (Danny's sister). They all adore her!

DIFFICULT DAYS...

CHECK OUT HER BIRTHMARK...SO CUTE!

These last few days have been pretty tough. Danny left on Sunday, which was pretty depressing for me. Then I called "T" that afternoon and she wasn't doing so good. She was feeling really depressed. She had 2 of her friends say some really nasty things to her about placing her baby for adoption. I am not going into all the detail here, but it was really terrible, heart breaking. As of now she hasn't had anymore contact with these two people and is realizing they were never true friends to begin with. I will add one more thing about the 2 of them, neither can have children. Or at least they haven't been able to so far. They both wanted this baby once they knew "T" was making an adoption plan. "T" thinks they stuck by her side during the pregnancy b/c they were holding out hope that she would let one of them raise her. Neither of these women are in any better shape than "T" is as far as finances go. Neither are married or in a stable, healthy relationship. They probably would have not made it past the homestudy even if "T" would have wanted to place the baby with one of them. "T" thinks they are really just upset that she chose "strangers" to adopt Mylah and not one of them. I could go into more detail of things, but that is enough...you get the picture. Anyway, the things they said made "T" have feelings of guilt. The words they said echoed in her head and she was very sad. We talked for a while. I told her that I didn't want her to feel like she had been forced into anything. I also told her that we love Mylah, but at the same time we would not be able to live our lives in peace raising her if we knew that "T" had doubts or was unsure about her decision. I told her we needed to know she was at peace. I let her know that I would not hold any bad feelings toward her if things didn't work out. It killed me to say these things. I meant them, but I also worried that by telling her she just might really change her mind. I called Danny that night and told him about my conversation with "T". We were both very upset and worried. I was surprised that I actually slept pretty well that night. I decided that it was all out of my hands and I just had to trust that things would work out the way they were supposed to. I prayed that God would just let things happen as He planned. I went to bed trying not to lose sight of my faith.

The next morning, I called "T" to see how she was feeling. She was doing much better. She said she stayed up much of the night praying about her situation. She said that she decided she was done with these 2 friends and that she wasn't going to let them make her second guess herself. She said she thought long and hard about adoption while she was pregnant. She said she knew she made the choice that was right for her and all of her children, including Mylah. We talked for several hours and she talked alot about her plans to improve her life.

Today was the last day for "T" to revoke the adoption. I called her to check on her and see if she was having any doubts. She was not. She said she called a counselor at the junior college and was looking into doing their 2 year nursing program. She said she would like to be a nurse on the post partum floor. She said she would enjoy helping women recover after childbirth. Plus she could try to make a more positive environment for women who decide to make a plan to place their baby for adoption.

"T" also talked to me about how she wants our relationship to go from here. She would like for us to start decreasing our contact some. She doesn't want me to keep worrying about her and the children. She told me that Mylah is my daughter and she just wants me to take her home and enjoy her and get on with my life. I made her promise to keep me informed over the next few months about how she is doing b/c I want to be sure she is going to be okay. I told her to let me know how her plans for work and possibly college work out. She said she would. She basically wants us to have contact about every 3-4 months. I told her to let me know when she is ready to get pics of Mylah and I will be glad to send them to her. She knows we will be in Atlanta in Feb. for a cheer competition and she thinks she may want to see us then. I am going to miss talking to her and I know I will worry about her alot. She said she will write to me every now and then and send pics of her and the kids. This hotel is probably going to charge me extra for all the kleenex I've used!!

On a lighter note...after talking to "T" I decided I had to get outdoors somehow! I have been either in a hospital or this hotel room since last Monday!! Me and Mylah went to the pool. She was good and allowed me to tan while she sat in the shade. We were only out for about an hour and a half but it did me lots of good to be out in the sun! Plus, Mylah wants her mommy to be tan like her! I posted new pics at the beginning of this post...She has a dimple on her left cheek which I love, and I also love how her eyes are sortof asian looking!

Goodnight!~Amber

Mylah's 1st Bath!

This is a pic. of Mylah when we were getting ready to do her 1st bath. This was taken at the hotel tonight! She has this look on her face like "Oh God, what are they about to do now?!"

Speaking of the bath, I knew her hair was curly but after her bath I was like OMG! Her hair is soooo curly! We are in trouble!

Goodnight!~Amber

THE HOSPITAL AND MORE...

We made it to the hotel this afternoon! I know some of you wanted to know a little about what went on while we were at the hospital. I thought I would try to do a post tonight about some of our experience. It went quite a bit different than what I thought it would be like. "T" had said before Mylah was born that she didn't want her to stay in the nursery alone. "T" wanted her to mostly stay in the room with us and have me take care of her there. You have to be really flexible with adoption, and you never really know how the bmom is going to feel when the time really comes. It turned out that "T" ended up not really wanting to see Mylah much. I know it was just too painful for her. Not only that, but "T" was in alot of pain. She had some complications due to the fact that this was her 3rd c-section, and the last one was only 11 months ago. She also had her tubes tied, which adds to the pain. I was really worried about her and was even nervous that they may have to take her back into surgery. I almost hate to admit this, but I felt guilty when I went to see Mylah in the nursery. I went to feed her several times, but didn't stay long at all. I really wanted to love on her and hold her, but I knew that "T" had no one but me to lean on. I stayed in "T's" room the whole time, and never left the hospital. I am really glad that we got to spend that time together though. I will be with Mylah for the rest of our lives, but I only had a short time to get to know her bmom. Mylah only came to the room with us for about 30 minutes while the photographer took her newborn photo. They don't take the newborn photo in the nursery, and made us bring her to the room. It was too much for "T". She only stayed a few minutes and then left to walk the halls. I felt so bad for her. Before Mylah got to the room I showed "T" 3 outfits I brought for the photo. I asked her to pick which one she wanted Mylah to wear for the picture. She had no problem doing this, and actually enjoyed it. She didn't have any problems talking about Mylah, or us raising her. She just couldn't look at her much or be around her. I was really glad she picked the outfit for the photo though. The only other time Mylah came to her room was today. "T" surprised me this morning and said I could go get her from the nursery and bring her to the room so she could hold her before we all left. I was sooo glad she wanted to see her. I never wanted her to regret not holding Mylah in the hospital, yet I didn't want to force the issue either and make her uncomfortable. We only had her in the room with us for about 30 minutes before the attorney and social workers showed up, but it was an awesome time that I will never forget! I got some really sweet pics of her and Mylah, which I know Mylah will cherish one day.

Let me add a little humor in here real quick since I am very teary eyed right now! "T's" doctor was a really great man. He seemed to be really caring and concerned about her and not in a rush like so many docs today. Anyway, he came in and said a prayer with us all this morning. He happened to come when Mylah was in the room and Danny had just gotten there as well. Anyway, we all held hands for the prayer. I was holding Mylah in my right arm and also holding "T's" hand on that same side. With my left hand I had Danny's hand. So, we are all in a circle over "T's" bed holding hands. "T" is sortof laying down and I am having to lean over to hold her hand, while also holding Mylah on the same arm. The doc starts his prayer. But then, he goes on and on and on! You really wouldn't believe. It was quite commical! It was a very sweet prayer, don't get me wrong. I was really into the prayer at first and really concentrating on his words. But, you just wouldn't believe how long this went on. The postition I was in was terrible. I was like I am going to pass out or possibly drop the baby! "T" even was tired of reaching up to hold my hand and at some point I felt her let go. My arm was shaking from fatigue of holding Mylah so long in that position! I was totally not listening to the last session of the prayer! Instead, I was silently saying my own prayer which went something like this: "Dear Lord, please let this doctor stop praying soon. Doesn't he have any more patients to see? And Lord, please don't let me pass out from hanging my head down so long in this postion. And please don't let me drop the baby or "T" will never let us adopt her. And Dear God is he really still praying?! Please help me!!" My prayer ended, but his did not! I'm telling you, I have never bowed my head that long in prayer! Later we were all talking about how funny it was! "T" said she was also praying for him to stop praying! She was like is he a doctor or a pastor?! I think he missed his calling, but I do appreciate his nice prayer for us all.

We took "T" home from the hospital. It was very emotional for me. She was being very strong. I took her things into her completely empty apartment. I got to hear her neighbors fighting through the walls. She had told me before that they fight violently all the time. They were at it when we got there, and I'm not gonna lie. It was pretty scary. You could hear every word they were saying. I had to make a few trips out to the car and warned Danny about what was going on and to just be on alert. He stayed in the car with Mylah. It was sad to see her have to live like that, and her children have to listen to that violence every single day. "T" said sometimes they go into the furthest room away from the wall of the other peoples apartment b/c she is just waiting on bullets to fly one day. I would be doing the same thing, I was very nervous about it.

"T" doesn't have any furniture at all. Nothing. Our friend that Danny stayed with in Atlanta is a SW there. He is going to get "T" some used furniture for her house. We are all so thankful for that!

"T" and I said our goodbyes and I cried. I left her a small gift in the kitchen for her to open after I left. It was a necklace I ordered for her that is custom made for bmoms. It was a heart with a dagger through it. It has 2 small silver beads and one large pale pink pearl. The 2 silver beads represent the birth-family and the adoptive family and the pearl symbolizes the adopted child. I also left a letter that I had written to her, and a card.

Danny and I finally got to the hotel with Mylah. We then decided to go to Walmart to get some drinks and snacks. I recieved a text from "T" while we were shopping. It was so sweet and said: "Thank u for taking care of me this week. I am so grateful 4 u and Danny. This bed feels great and the gift you gave me was beautiful. I love U." It was all I could do not to break down sobbing in the middle of walmart. The bed she referred to was a blow up mattress we bought for her which Danny went and set up a few days before she went home. She has been sleeping on the floor.

I did not get to meet her kids. They had not made it back to the apartment with her friend before we got there today. I am jealous because Danny did get to meet them! He took the gifts we had for them and the mattress for "T" over there on Monday night. He got to see them playing with the toys we got them and he said they were enjoying themselves. Danny said they are really quiet kids, and very calm. I'm thinking YES...I hope Mylah gets those genes! Our kids are so loud and active that it will be nice to have a mellow one in the bunch! Danny's sleeping and I gotta run feed Mylah. I will do this 11pm feed and he can get up at 2am! LOL

Mylah's Here!!!

Hi all! Sorry it has taken so long for me to update the blog. I know many of you are waiting to see pics! Hopefully I can remember how to post pics! Anyway, things are going well. It is just really busy and I have only had 3 1/2 hours of sleep since I've been here. I stayed in "T's" room last night, and will probably stay with her every night. She and Mylah will be discharged on Thursday, then we will be going to a hotel. Danny stayed at Mitch's house last night and will be staying with him and his wife until we leave Atlanta on Thurs. The photographer is about to take Mylah's newborn photo, so I gotta run!

SHE'S COMING TODAY!!!

"T" called this morning and said her water broke! Of course my life went from lazy morning calm to completely crazy! Danny came right home from work and I was frantically getting dressed and throwing everything in the car. We got the girls to a neighbors because my mom was having to come from Pensacola. We are about an hour or two away from the hospital. I am worried about "T"  because I know how scared she was to think of possibly being alone during surgery. We have no idea what is going on, because by now they have probably taken all of her belongings...  including her cell. I am pretty sure Mylah will be born before we arrive. I will update later today or sometime tonight!